If my heart were an anchor, it would be at the bottom of the sea.

If my heart were an anchor, it would be at the bottom of the sea.


I feel stuck... stuck in a depression that I feel I will not overcome. I'm not sure what I can do. Every time I come to this familiar place, I have the same thoughts --- I want to get out, but no matter what I do, it will just take time of dredging on to see the surface again, to see the sparkle of the sunshine on the crests of the waves.

I can't run away. It won't get me away from myself.
I can't try and hide in other people; they will just disappoint me. Everyone disappoints me... even myself.

Saturday, Trey told me 2 of Sarah's pain pills were missing from her prescription she is taking for her bladder infection. Of course, Jake was the only one home during the time they went missing. He swore he didn't take them. Sunday, I found a cut straw with a milky residue on the inside in the pocket of the shorts he had worn the day before. He swore he had just been cleaning out his truck and that was left in his pocket. He said he wished he had done it so he could say he did and I would be satisfied by his answer.... Needless to say, I'm not satisfied by his excuses that he did not take them and the straw was from before he got sober. How stupid am I that I believe him or at least accept his denials?